Being Grateful For Me - A Mixed Media Self-Portrait

My Naturopath gave me an assignment - to keep a gratitude journal about myself.  Not what I'm grateful for that is outside of me (other people, places, things, etc.), but what I am grateful for each day about myself.  Wow, that's an entirely different thing...and infinitely more challenging.  But, I set out to give it a whirl and from this initial little gratitude note I wrote grew a self-portrait, and with it I observed again some initial resistance.
A self-portrait seems like the most daunting of creative endeavors. Why is that? Do we feel we can only attempt a portrait if we have the skills to get the likeness just right? Or is it because we really have to look closely at ourselves; if not at our actual features, then at ourselves, our lives, our values, etc. Sometimes this navel gazing seems like a huge task that we don't have the time to do "properly" - with genuine reflection and effort. Does "properly" mean that we need to get it RIGHT? Goodness, there seems to be so many things that can stop us dead in our tracks because we have this perception that we must get it right.
I think of that quote...."boldness has genius in it...", you know it:

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” - Goethe



So with that abandon to action, I attempted a self portrait that became a wonderful exercise in letting go and surrendering to the process. Surrounded in a variety of papers I found appealing, magazines I love reading, pages from old journals, and a current writing on Gratitude, pictures of family and a selection of my own artwork that had some meaning for me, I let loose with scissors and gel medium. The process of collage was completely absorbing and enlightening as I watched myself be moved and inspired by certain images, colors, and words.
The whole process was inspired by the book Taking Flight by Kelly Rae Roberts, so I can't take credit for the idea. I can however own the courage it took to jump in and allow myself the gift of engaging in the process. It's hard to give ourselves permission to take the time for these things most of the time....so for this I am grateful - to myself.
In the end, it was very moving, enlightening, and fascinating as the painting spoke to me on it's own as I worked. Only one brief moment felt frustrating...when my critical brain (left brain) piped up to observe that my facial features were out of proportion. I was both amused and grateful that my Wise Woman (right brain) very quickly quipped back..."that's OK, it's SUPPOSED to be like that!"

A Cut Above

So, finally a tiny peek at one of the projects I was a part of at the Emma International Collaborative help this past summer in Big River, SK.  I can't begin to explain what an overload of creative energy the event is.  100 artists and craftspeople from all over the globe, brought together for a week of nothing but what can only be called creative genius.  The energy is frenzied at times.  And, I am always amazed to see the end results.  Given that I am usually absorbed in the projects I am trying to complete, I often don't get to see what has happened until the very last day when I bring my head up for air.  At this particular event there were well over 300 art pieces completed - so this gives you an idea of how productive the week can be. The Emma Website is here - for more information on the event and its history: http://www.emmacollaboration.com/index.htm

Of course every item has a story and this one is no exception.  Dad often makes his knives in this pattern – called Damascus Steel.  This process has several layers of steel forged together a number of times to get these beautiful patterns and quite often the layers number in the hundreds by the time he is done.  This one is made from a timing chain of all things!  Once he had completed the blade and I saw what I had to work with, I began the process of creating the handle in glass.  I attempted to mimic (randomly) the pattern in the blade using Borosilicate glass – a very hard and durable glass capable of withstanding repeated use.

This little endeavor wasn’t without it’s hang-ups either.  In the midst of making the handle I had my oxygen tank run out and had to desperately finish it up long before I would have liked to.  Luckily the shape worked out quite nicely – it fits in the hand comfortably.  (Of course you can’t test this out when making it given the glass is HOT)....so you kind of have to wing it and hope for the best.  (Kind of how I operate most of the time!)  When all is said and done, overall I’d have to say I’m happy with the final result.  For me, the biggest treat is to have the opportunity to collaborate with Dad....not something we get to do very often.

We called it if course...."A Cut Above"  and it is currently being auctioned at the Emma site with a deadline for bidding of October 29th.  Have a look!
http://www.emmacollaboration.com/online-auction/knife2.htm
For a look at some of the other great pieces created you can check out this link: http://www.flickr.com/groups/809014@N24/

Where Oh Where has that Little Girl Gone?

OK, I know the tune is about a little dog.....but in this case the little lost one has been me!  Just busy with one project after another - so lots to write about, and no time to blog.  We've had Annie Rouseau here with the Painting Experience a couple weekends ago.  Great experience!!  And then last weekend the group I paint with on Mondays had an art show.  This is me posing with one of my paintings. 

Now, I'm busy with a presentation that will be delivered in Istanbul next week - so exciting!

However, in this stolen moment I thought I'd share how one of my summer sketches was transformed into a card for the show last weekend. 

Back from Holidays.....Where do I start??!?

Whew!  We've arrived back home safe and sound.  Glad to be home and at the same time sad to have the adventure end.  Lots to share, especially on my experience at the Emma International Collaboration - more on that later.  But first, we spent 2 weeks at my folks cabin in Shell Lake, Saskatchewan.  Blissfully relaxing this time.  Which means I didn't really get much accomplished - which is what a holiday is supposed to be about anyway, but this is tricky for me.  Our family seems to be all about projects and getting them done.  I did manage to get my sketchbook out a few times which was nice.  We enjoyed the Hey Days Parade in town where I seated myself across the street from this little wishing well flower planter and later that day I was sitting at the beach enjoying the huge old tree that shelters us there:

One of our usual daily routines which is notorious for sending me home with a few extra pounds around my middle is happy hour before dinner.  I'm not sure why we think this should be a daily ritual, but it does stop us from our frenzied activity and gives us a chance so sit together and gab.  I've discovered that I like ciders over coolers because they are not so sweet, however this particular one wasn't a favorite....suitable only for drawing because of its pretty color.

Unfortunately when staying that long we can't avoid doing laundry, so on this particular day while waiting at the little laundromat I sat on the deck and drew my sandals.  I LOVE these Birkenstocks!  Well, I love any Birkenstock really.

 

While the community here is very tiny, they always have something wonderful going on - lots of cultural activities of every variety.  Wood turners, blacksmiths, sculptors, musicians all come to the gazebo in town to spend a day or a weekend enjoying each other and their craft and sharing that with the lucky folks who happen to be visiting the area at the time.  Accompanying these activities inevitably are cinnamon buns and coffee.  They have built a wood-fired bread oven that sits outdoors next to the tiny museum and all the town ladies make cinnamon buns the evening before, ready for baking in the morning.  Early in the day someone gets up and builds the wood fire which burns until the oven is sufficiently hot.  Then the buns arrive from various homes, and are cooked right on site.  You can't even imagine how wonderful they are - a true culinary delight!  This particular time we were entertained by a group playing bluegrass music - preparing for a festival to be held in a few weeks further north at Ness Creek.   I managed to capture two individuals who performed - a tricky endeavor to try and sketch a subject that doesn't stay still and within the limited time of their performance.  So, it's a little rough, but it was a good experience.  I really must practice drawing people more....

New Moleskin "Muddle"

I bought a new watercolor Moleskin a couple weekends ago while visiting a dear friend on Vancouver island.  My intent is to have a sketchbook for all my "quick and dirty" sketches - you know, something to drag around always to record just any ol' thing and keep me sketching regularly to hone my skills, and just for the joy of it.  And yet as I sat staring at the first blank page of this beautiful new little book, I hesitated, not wanting to "ruin it" with some crappy drawing.  Ah....there it is again - focus on outcome.  Even when I don't want to do that and I know how paralyzing that focus can be.  "Process, not outcome", I tell myself!  We artistic types do seem to be our own worst critics.  Take for instance my friend whom I was visiting....she is an extraordinary painter!! I have a few of her pieces gracing my walls and I LOVE them.  Here are a couple: (my photos don't do the colors justice at all)

 Sadly she hasn't painted in ages.  Mostly because she is legitimately very busy with other things, but even when she took time off to paint she had real difficulty allowing herself to do so.  All kinds of reasons surfaced: other pressing tasks, no passion for a subject, room not set up, no supportive community of artistic friends, etc, etc.  And, an overactive critical voice that did not support her to mess up a canvas - that's my opinion of course....we really haven't discussed it at length because I don't want to pester her.  But, I do know she can be a perfectionist.  I know this because I can be paralyzed by the same affliction - it's familiar to me.  I'm sure she will die should she see this posted here, but I love to show off her work - I know she won't.  And I do want to shout to her - PAINT, PAINT!!....just for the joy of it - without evaluation and judgment.  Instead I hold her in my heart silently praying for the day she will allow herself to be lost in process without care of outcome.

Hmmmm....what we hope for others is indeed what we most need to heed ourselves - at least it is for me in this case as I stare at the blank pages of a fresh little moleskin.  Can we/I listen to the same encouraging voice we/I offer to our/my friends?

And so....I have to credit the inspiration of Margaret Storer-Roche with her post "A Line".  She introduced me to the concept of "Zentangles".  It reminds me of the Doodleart posters I colored as a kid.  So..."doodling on steroids", or perhaps in this case more accurately "doodling on Valium."  I do enjoy anything that puts me in a meditative "flow" state.  And this definitely does it.  I can't get too hung up on outcome since the outcome creates itself spontaneously.  So, this seemed like just the thing to help me christen the new Moleskin without interference from my critical ego.  My first couple pages:

 

So now that my lovely Moleskin is broken in, I can get on with the business of actual sketching, and just in time....I'm off to my folks cabin in Northern Saskatchewan for a vacation with my family and lots of time to relax and indulge in creative things.  Happy July!

Rainbow Dots

I haven't put together any jewelry pieces for awhile, but I was playing around with a variety of colors and made a bunch of sample beads to see how they looked over black. They were sitting on my work bench crying out for a new life and so I strung them into this fun bracelet. I'm finding it actually goes with lots of my clothes. I just like that it has a happy feel with all these wonderful bright dots!

Le Cadeau Du Chaval - Final Painting

I finished my panel in the mural mosaic currently being assembled.  Can't say that I'm completely happy with it.  There are parts I really like and other parts I would absolutely do over if I had more time.  But, that's not the case so this will be the final version.  My "before" image is located a few posts ago.  Can't wait to see the final mural.  As always it is an amazing thing and I'm honored to be a part of this collaborative project.  See the assembly in real time here.