The Year in Review

I've never been very consistent with this blog...or anything for that matter.  I guess I'm not the "consistent" type.  Whatever that might mean.  Other words:...diligent, disciplined, stick-to-it-iveness, etc.  I'm more of a "fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants" or "when-the-Spirit-moves-me", or "I'll-do-whatever-the-hell-I-feel-like...Gosh!" kind of girl.  It's handy sometimes, but it can often be a liability.  As an attempt to do a bit of "brain rewiring" as it were, I am participating in #reverb10.  It is an online project designed to reflect on the year 2010 and to manifest going forward.  Since I stumbled upon it three days late I have a bit of catch up to do.

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

Crab with a heavy load

 Overwhelming.  Period.  With our family's move to Vancouver island recently, the year was dominated with all that goes in to making the decision to uproot a family, fixing up and selling a home, purging and packing, finding a new home, moving, setting up in a new place, attempting to make a new community a home, worrying about all that needs to be done, how everyone will be affected, and trying not to forget anything.  We left good friends and old careers behind and looking ahead could only see the unknown.  It was just plain...overwhelming...from March clear to the present day.

A door to restoration: Demali Lavender Farm

Is it any wonder then that my hope for 2011 is something at the far end of the scale from that experience.  Peace, Health, Balance, Settled, Connected, Focused, Stable, Content, Stillness.  Any of these would surely apply.  I think in all of the "noise" of life, (and this year for me was VERY "noisy"),  one can very easily become disconnected from oneself, from one's own intuitive guidance, from the Wisdom within that tells us what to focus on, and what might be the best move in the moment, and how to feed ourselves, and where to go, and how to simply BE.  So, for me I want to find that stillness within me again that makes me feel grounded, free of anxiety, and more sure of where I'm going, what I'm contributing to, and who I am.  To do that requires a daily conscious choice and an awareness.  It is an action...to plug back in to Self.  In one word?  Restore.  It's time to restore my soul..the HOW of it is a long laundry list, but all of it sustaining and nourishing.  From THAT place one can make an authentic and meaningful  contribution in the world.  From THAT place one can support and love a family deeply.

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

What don't I do?  My distractions are numerous.  Far too many to list here.  Some can be eliminated and others can't.  The trick for me is to be mindful enough to catch myself when the thing I am engaged in is not a valuable exercise.  Mindless email, web-surfing, TV, even house cleaning, when not the most important thing to focus on in the moment, is a barrier to writing or creating.  There are obviously times when all of the above is necessary, but there are limits.  Observing the limit and moving on to more meaningful activities is the precious choice to be made.

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.  ~Rabindranath Tagore

I distinctly remember a day this past July.  Our house had finally sold.  A HUGE stress lifted.  I had arrived in Victoria to house hunt with Dan and had actually taken the time one sunny day to stroll down to the ocean and sit on the rocks at Songhees.  The spot has long been considered a sacred space by the indigenous people who had many gatherings here in years long past.  No wonder I was enjoying the energy there.  I spent a long time just watching boats and float planes come and go out of the harbor.  The smell of the sea was fresh and cleansing, the sun warm on my skin, seagulls flying overhead and calling out to one another.  I spent a good deal of time sketching the buildings on the opposite side of the harbor in my journal and as I did I remembered a trip taken 2 years prior.  We had brought the boys to this very spot when coming to visit friends.  The boys loved the ocean and we talked then about how wonderful it would be to live here.  Realizing that here we were, 2 years later,  having manifested a dream without really recognizing that we had, I was filled with gratitude in the moment.  I felt blessed and completely content both by the stillness in that time of solitude and by the opportunity to live in this new beautiful place.